Friday February 9, 2007 SGN.org |
 |
Volume 35 Issue 06 |
 |
|
Saturday, Aug 30, 2008
|
 |
|||||||||||
|
|||||||||||
|
| |||||||||||
|
Tour De Life by Beau Burriola |
||
 |
||
| Tour de Life: It's Monday, Isn't It? | ||
|
by Beau Burriola -
SGN Contributing Writer "It's on Monday, isn't it?" Julien asked. I had to stop and think. I was sure it was still some weeks away yet, but he was right. Like most things, my perception of time has changed dramatically over the years, and each birthday seems to creep up and leap at me more unexpectedly than the years before. Now it seems that twenty-eight has arrived just as twenty-seven came through the door. When I turned eighteen, I believed that being happy meant hiding that I was Gay from the whole world. I thought compromising who I really was wasn't such a high price to pay to keep my family and life in the Army as I knew it the same. It took less than a year for that to change. When I turned twenty-one, drunk on invincibility (among other things), I believed in the infinite power of the fate and love that I was entitled to in order to find direction and purpose in life. Two years later, when I tested positive and love didn't save me, and instead turned heel and ran out the door, I learned to find more purpose within. When I turned twenty-three, I believed that being successful meant making enough money to keep up with my richer friends, and so I spent most of my money on things I now don't remember. When I woke up some years later in debt, the weight of my dollar changed. At twenty-six, I believed that men were a waste of time and money and that I didn't need the distractions of love until I had finished school and made my first million dollars. That year, I met a man who changed my mind and had me imagining a future in twos again. When I turned twenty-seven, I believed that the longtime friendships I'd kept over time were worth all the time and effort, just because they'd always been. It didn't matter if these friends were personally fulfilling or endlessly dramatic.. Last month, I decided all that energy is best spent when invested in meaningful relationships I actually get something from. Today, Monday, is my twenty-eighth birthday, and I no longer believe so much in the weight of what I think I know today to control my life tomorrow. I have accepted that I change almost unrecognizably right along with speeding time. I don't want to be eighteen anymore, or even twenty-seven, and if the journey I've had the last ten years is any indication, I'm looking forward to discovering how I turn out to be at the end of another ten years. Of course, ten years is a long time to think ahead, so for now, I'm happier with today than yesterday. I just want to try to live now so that the face I see in the mirror changing through the years has lines from smiles and wisdom, instead of from worry or cynicism. It's Monday, isn't it? Beau Burriola is a local scribbler quickly jotting it all down as it races by. E-mail him at: beaubrent@gmail.com |
||
|
visit Beau at www.beaubrent.com
|
||
 |
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
|
|
||
International Readers read the SGN in Arabic, Chinese, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Portuguese, Spanish |
|
 |
|
 For more info & to sign up: email aniab@llaa.org or call 206.328.8979 |
|
 |
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 post your own information on Seattle Gay Blog |
|
 |
copyright Seattle Gay News - DigitalTeamWorks 2006