Friday May 11, 2007 SGN.org |
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Volume 35 Issue 19 |
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Tuesday, Oct 07, 2008
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Tour De Life by Beau Burriola |
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| The big move | ||
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by Beau Burriola -
SGN Contributing Writer I've been emptying out boxes, drawers, folders, and shelves gradually for months now, getting ready for the Big Move in July. It's a monstrous task; in the nine years since I came to Seattle and began acquiring stuff, I've managed to amass enough clothes, dishes, stacks of papers, books, newspaper clippings, plants, and useless junk to open my own Value Village store. Now that I have to cut everything down to just two bags that I can haul onto an airplane (my bike included), it's time to get rid of it all. When I left the Army, everything I owned could fit into the duffle bag strapped across my back. Anyone who has ever done that knows how free it feels to be able to carry all you have. When you aren't weighed down by things, it's so much easier to just take off anywhere the whim blows. It's so much easier to want to. Things are more possible. "I won't have many things when I get there," I told Sean, when I called to say I'd be sending a small box of things to his place ahead of time. "I've got to get rid of a lot of shoes and underwear." "Well, to be fair, your underwear is all probably more than a year old anyway," he responded. With the wisdom he's exercised in the decade I've known him, Sean is able to put things into perspective in only the way Gay family can. After some re-reassurance from him, it's easier to throw things out. So I continue to shred through the things that tell the story of my life. Old birthday cards, pictures, undeveloped rolls of film, trophies, journals, and letters are each a little time capsule with a familiar smell or memory leaping out of the box or envelope. There are pictures I took after my family's home was wiped out by the San Marcos flood. There are ribbons and medals from my time in the Army. There are towels from the hotel on my first trip to Amsterdam. There's the T-shirt covered in signatures I wore on my 21st birthday. There is the photo book from the European AIDS vaccine ride. We are each the curators of the museums of our lives, carefully handling and storing away pieces of the magic moments that we can manage to grasp onto, the only ones who understand and appreciate the value of our own priceless collections. But when carrying around these symbols of the past start to impact the direction or journey in the future, it becomes necessary to let go, maybe out of a hope for the possibilities it will allow. If I'm going to live a life of crossing oceans and borders, I simply can't afford to hang on to stuff. At the end of the day, that's what I want for my life. I want to take the memories Seattle has given me and the lessons it has taught me and put them in my mind to take with me along on the journey. Anyway, my life isn't more defined by old ticket stubs and pictures than the person I am today. Though I will be able to fit everything I own in a bag across my back, I am no longer that kid just out of the Army. I am changed by my all that Seattle has brought me and the scars and blessings I've had. But just like that kid I was, the world will be as possible and open as ever; and that - the journey ahead of me - is the most priceless thing in the world. Beau Burriola is a Queer writer finding his way back to the family he left a decade ago. E-mail him at beaubrent@gmail.com. |
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visit Beau at www.beaubrent.com
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International Readers read the SGN in Arabic, Chinese, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Korean, Portuguese, Spanish |
Special Screening! Ravenna United Methodist Church |
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copyright Seattle Gay News - DigitalTeamWorks 2007