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posted Friday, February 8, 2008 - Volume 36 Issue 06 |
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Seattle Gay History: Staring down the Chief of Police - 1951 |
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| Seattle Gay History: Staring down the Chief of Police - 1951 |
by Don Paulson -
SGN Contributing Writer
I don't think anyone gets over their first love without a special poem tucked away somewhere. Les was my first love at 17 and Les was 18. Our paths met when he worked at a local theater as an usher. We connected right away. Around this small town we were discreet but now I'm sure there were those who suspected, as we were always together. He was exactly what I needed, but one day my 19-year-old straight brother gave Les a ride on his motorcycle. Les told me later, "I hate your brother." I couldn't imagine why he would say that, as my brother was one of the most likable people ever. I began to realize that Les had a crush on him and his hatred was actually attraction. That disturbed me; I loved my brother and knew he was not interested in Les but I felt anger toward him anyway, and I saw that Les was losing interest in me. As if that were not enough, my brother and his girlfriend were sideswiped on his motorcycle by a car driven by a reckless "bad boy" from a neighboring small town. They were seriously injured and his girlfriend lost a leg. My brother's last words were, "The army won't get me now, knock me out, Doc." Our families were devastated and I felt bad for having felt anger for my brother.
I had quit school (before classmates figured out I was Gay) and found a job washing dishes at a local restaurant. The owner was previously kicked off the police force for some reason, held a grudge for the Chief and talked my mother into suing the department for not arresting the well-known bad boy as he was stopped earlier for being rowdy and released. Les no longer wanted anything to do with me after my brother died.
The case went to trial. In the meantime the Chief of Police probably figured out who Les and I were so he called me into his office "to talk." When he mentioned Les' name I began to get the picture and I was scared - he was searching for anything to be used against me, to expose my Gayness, humiliate my family and even put me in jail (but he would let me go if my mother dropped the lawsuit). The Chief's questions got more and more personal, finally asking if Les and I had sexual relations and with my answer of no he began to stare at me, breaking me down. I have no idea what came over me but I'd had it! I don't know where the energy came from or what Gay guardian angel guided me, but I began to stare back with a commitment that surprised me. I stared defiantly without blinking for about ten seconds and didn't drop my eyes until he finally blinked and told me I could go. I think he was surprised and a little unnerved that a 17-year-old Queer boy could stare him down - it gave me such confidence and I survived a frightening situation.
As it turned out my mother's lawyer felt the case could not be won and advised her to drop it - so did my boss at the restaurant where I worked. I don't know about any deals that were made but he was mysteriously reinstated on the police force. My brother's girlfriend was in the hospital and not healing until she had a dream where my brother came to her and said, "I am happy and in a good place and feel no pain. I love you and I'll be by your side always, but you must start healing now and go on with your life." She immediately began to heal and became a successful businesswoman. Les died of heart disease a year later and the negligent bad boy got three years in prison for hit and run. I went into the Army and life went on.
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