Sex Talk

Sex Talk

Nasty talk by Simon Sheppard - SGN Contributing Writer Feeling chatty in bed? You could try sweet talk of the "I love you" variety, of course, or standard-issue porn dialogue like "That's it, boy, fuck that ass." Both can be effective aphrodisiacs, but then there are those who prefer their repartee a little rougher. Does a potty mouth get you off? Well, rest assured that you're not alone. Talking nasty while doing the dirty is the icing on many a cock-cake. Sometimes just tone of voice can do the trick. As one submissive bottom points out, "There are men who say no more than 'Suck my dick,' but say it in such a rough, commanding way that it makes me come." Still, the twistedly talkative among us might well add an abusive word or two, as in: "Suck my big, fat dick, you cocksucking slut." Thinking back to pre-Internet times, one man recalls, "When I was young, I used to spend time on a phone sex line. One guy who was always on it was into verbal abuse, saying 'shithead' this and 'fag' that. At the time, I thought it was gross." He grins. "But times have changed." Verbal abuse scenes range from the occasionally disparaging to the downright debasing. But banter need not be vicious to be nastily hot; sometimes just crossing the line will do. "One fellow's mildly vanilla is another's wildly transgressive," explains one much-bedded chatterbox. "I suppose if you're just getting over a strict upbringing, the basic four-letter words can be titillating, but I get off on more hardcore stuff, things like calling a guy's ass his 'cunt' or 'shithole.'" In moments of lustful abandon, all sorts of otherwise unspeakable things - like ethnic or religious slurs - can be hot. Or not. Our foul-mouthed chatterbox explains, "It's tough to know in advance whether something I say will offend my partner or turn him on. With a new guy who seems open to verbal stuff, I'll start out fairly easy, calling him stuff like 'cocksucker' and 'bitch,' and maybe escalate from there, depending on how he responds. Sometimes things can get very, very sick, indeed." It's not just words that can be nasty - thoughts can be, too. And sharing a forbidden fantasy can make fucking even more fun. Many of us harbor desires we're too wise - or too scared - to make real. "There are plenty of things I'd never, ever really do that are still hot to imagine," says one self-described pervert. "And when I talk about that stuff while I'm having sex, it can get really intense." Speech is certainly a simple, safe way to explore taboo territory. Talking is an easier way than dressing in drag to engage in gender play. And in some cases, like incest-fantasy scenes, verbal role-playing is pretty much a prerequisite. Sure, some might object that verbalizing twisted stuff gives an OK to our darkest impulses, but others would counter that it provides a much-needed escape valve. Kinky talk can be persuasive, too: A few sexy syllables can transform a prude into a pig. Says one leather top, "A while back, I started doing phone sex with a young guy who was pretty inexperienced. We got into more and more elaborate bondage fantasies, some of them pretty extreme, and eventually his dick overcame his head's reluctance to meet me. Now I take him to sex parties and tie him up." Though it might qualify as safe sex, sharing your sleaziest self with a sex buddy is still not without perils. A domestic partner may not want to know everything about you. And if you're going to tell a stranger about fantasies that might be seen as disgusting, immoral, or even illegal, you'd better be damn sure he's discreet. Other dangers include misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and touching psychic sore spots. Oh, and running out of things to say. But, as our chatterbox explains, "There's just so many nasty things you can say, but after a while, the repetition can get hypnotic. You know - 'Take it, slut. Take it, slut. Take it, slut.' It's like a mantra." If, as they say, the mind is the biggest sex organ, it's good to keep in mind that a sex organ is a terrible thing to waste. Remember - you can use your mouth for things besides cocksucking. So talk dirty and come clean. Simon Sheppard is the editor of Homosex: Sixty Years of Gay Erotica, and the author of Sex Parties 101, Kinkorama, and In Deep: Erotic Stories, and can be reached at SexTalk@qsyndicate.com. Visit Simon at www.simonsheppard.com.